Before I move on to another topic, I feel I should share my thoughts about the cursed land mentioned in post #4, especially after seeing someone mention feeling creeped out after reading it.
In fact, my parents protected us very well, so I didn’t hear about those things until I was in my forties or fifties. Our happy childhood was not lived under a dark cloud. I remember that my parents protected us out of love. We were like princesses and princes in a castle—living freely and unaware of the world’s suffering. They didn’t want us to worry, so we never felt any financial lack or hardship at home. I never heard them talk about pain or suffering.
Even though my younger sister had been sick since infancy and was often admitted to the children’s hospital, my parents never showed worry in front of us. They didn’t want us to grieve, so I don’t think I even attended a funeral until I was in my thirties.
Maybe my mom had some childhood trauma, and that’s why they built a wall to protect us. I don’t know whether that kind of protection is good or bad, but I do know that both my parents were teachers, and they had their own principles and ideas about how to raise us. What I’m sure of is that they loved us deeply.
When it comes to love, my parents are free-spirited. We could easily talk to them and discuss any issues. They also gave us a lot of freedom to choose our hobbies, our university majors, and so on.
At the same time, they were also very traditional and conservative. Although they didn’t always hug us or say they loved us, we still knew they did.
This paragraph is for my daughters to read: Traditionally, Chinese people don’t express love in words. Even if they didn’t say it, it didn’t mean they didn’t love us. Their love could be felt through the many things they did for us.
They loved us, but they didn’t pamper us. Discipline was a must. My mom was strict because she was born into a military family. My dad was a kind father. In my memory, he never punished us.
When he was angry with me, he would pick up a soft indoor slipper and throw it at me—but he always missed on purpose. That was his way of showing he was upset, and I knew I needed to reflect on myself.
Luckily, I was fairly well-behaved and didn’t have many moments like that. But the image of him throwing the slipper (and purposely missing) left a deep impression on me.
Now let’s talk about what I know about Dad. He was very smart and had a great sense of humor. He often said amusing things using homonyms. (It’s hard to explain those Chinese slang expressions in English, so I’ll skip the examples here.)
Dad was very sensitive to numbers, and he was thrifty. He would buy bread on Saturdays and eat tuna salad sandwiches once a week. He bought cake on Sundays because the bakery offered 20% off on bread on Saturdays and 20% off on cake on Sundays.
On the first day of every month, he would go to the supermarket to buy paper goods or grocery staples to collect reward points, which he could later exchange for prizes.
Although he was frugal, he never took advantage of others. Instead, he tried to make full use of available resources to provide his family with a comfortable life. In addition to saving money, he also saved paper—especially thick paper from magazines, advertisements, or calendars. He used these papers as backing boards for his artwork.
In earlier days, when photo developers offered a second set of prints for free, he would find creative ways to use the extra copies. He also used beautiful calendar images of flowers and birds as wall decorations. Making full use of everything and avoiding waste seemed to be second nature to him.
He was frugal with himself but very generous to others. In post #3, I mentioned that while studying at Hsinchu Normal College, he would lend money to classmates and never pressured them to pay it back. He was even okay if they couldn’t repay him at all.
He once said that since he had family—his father and brother—in Taiwan, he was luckier than many classmates who had come to Taiwan alone.
Another relative mentioned that when they were buying a house, my father lent them money without hesitation to help them through financial difficulty.
Dad rarely, if ever, spoke about these acts of kindness. He usually did good deeds quietly. Unless he needed to lead by example, he wouldn’t mention them.
When he retired, he used part of his pension to set up an education fund to support underprivileged students at school.
He usually ate simple meals, but when family or friends came to visit, he would prepare a feast to warmly welcome them.
His thrifty yet generous lifestyle is truly something to admire and learn from.
(To be continued …)
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